Hitchin' a Ride

Hey mister, where are you headed?

Are you in a hurry?

Need a lift to happy hour? Say, "Oh no"

Do you brake for distilled spirits?

I need a break as well

The well that inebriates the guilt

One, two, one, two, three, four

Cold turkey's getting stale

Tonight, I'm eating crow

Fermented salmonella, poison oak, no

There's a drought at the fountain of youth

And now I'm dehydrating

My tongue is swelling up

I say, "One, two, one, two, three, four"

Troubled times

You know I cannot lie

I'm off the wagon, and I'm hitchin' a ride

There's a drought at the fountain of youth

And now I'm dehydrating

My tongue is swelling up, I say...

"Shit!"

Troubled times

You know I cannot lie

I'm off the wagon, and I'm hitchin' a ride

(Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride

(Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride

(Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride

(Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride

(Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride

(Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride

(Don't know where to go) hitchin' a ride

Say birthday boys, hey!